What is it really like to parent an MLS academy player? Megan Linke shares an inside perspective on the commitment, pressure, development, uncertainty and lessons that come with elite youth soccer.

When people hear that your child plays for an MLS academy, they often see the exciting parts first: the uniform, the facilities, the travel, the competition and the opportunity to develop within a professional club environment. And all of those things are special.

But being the parent of an MLS academy player has taught me that behind those opportunities is a much bigger commitment — for the player and for the entire family.

My son, Liam, began in pre-academy before playing U12 and U13 with New York Red Bulls Academy. He is now playing U14 with New York Red Bulls Academy, which competes in MLS NEXT.

As he’s progressed through the academy, I’ve been learning right alongside him. I’ve learned about development and competition, uncertainty and sacrifice, and when to speak — and, maybe more importantly, when to step back.

Most of all, I’ve learned that making an academy team isn’t an arrival point. It’s really just the beginning.

Making the Team Doesn’t Mean You’ve Made It

One of the biggest misconceptions about elite youth soccer is that once a player earns a place at an MLS academy, he can finally relax. The opposite may be closer to the truth.

I was sitting beside Liam when he was offered his spot on the U14 academy team. It was an exciting moment, but the message that came with it was equally important: You have to work to keep your spot.

That has stayed with me.

Academies are constantly evaluating players. Scouts continue looking for talent, new 

players come in for trials and rosters can change. A player can have an incredible game one week and find himself facing a completely different situation the next.

That uncertainty can be difficult for a parent. You want effort to lead neatly to opportunity. You want a good performance to guarantee the next one. Youth development doesn’t work that way.

There are decisions we simply don’t control. Over time, our family has learned to redirect our attention toward something we do.

“We can’t control what a coach will do, but we can control Liam’s growth.”

So we focus on the work.

The Commitment Extends Far Beyond Game Day

The academy schedule becomes part of the rhythm of family life.

For Liam, a typical week includes academy training Tuesday through Friday, followed by a game on Saturday. Some weekends bring tournaments or games on both Saturday and Sunday. Training afternoons begin around 4 p.m. and often mean he isn’t home until close to 8 p.m.

Then there is school, meals, recovery, film and everything else that comes with being 13 years old.

This is something I think can be easy to forget when we’re talking about elite young athletes.

“He’s still a kid, but he’s participating in an environment that asks a lot of him.”

There is responsibility that comes with playing at this level, and there is sacrifice too.

As players get older, I believe something important has to happen: the desire has to transition from the parents wanting it to the player truly wanting it. A parent can drive to training, find resources and provide opportunities, but eventually the player has to choose the work.

I’ve watched that ownership grow in Liam.

An Academy Alone Isn’t Responsible for a Player’s Development

Another lesson I’ve learned is that being part of an MLS academy doesn’t automatically mean every aspect of a player’s development is taken care of.

The academy environment is incredibly valuable, but development doesn’t stop when scheduled training ends. Players still have individual needs.

For Liam, that has meant additional technical work, training on his own at home, reviewing games and focusing on areas of his game that need improvement. He watches his matches and logs them for his coach. He has also worked on the mental side of the game, including mindset work with former professional player Greg Garza and Beyond Goals.

Those pieces matter.

There is only so much individualized attention any team environment can provide. As players move into increasingly competitive levels, understanding their own strengths and weaknesses becomes part of taking ownership of their development.

The extra work can’t simply be something a parent schedules. The player has to begin understanding why he’s doing it.

The Constant Evaluation May Be Harder on Parents Than Players

This may be one of the biggest things I’ve learned: sometimes I think the kids handle the uncertainty better than we do.

As parents, we notice everything — starting positions, playing time, rosters, trials, feedback, who is playing where, who has been moved and who has been brought in. It can be incredibly easy to get caught up in all of it.

Selection can also feel subjective from a parent’s perspective. Some players may appear more secure in their roles while others experience more uncertainty. But constantly trying to interpret every decision doesn’t help your child develop.

I’ve had to remind myself that youth development isn’t linear.

There are highs and lows. One week, you can watch your child have an amazing game and play his heart out; the next, he can lose his starting spot. That’s difficult, but a starting position at 13 doesn’t determine where a player will be at 16, 18 or beyond.

What matters is what happens next. Does he keep working? Does he respond to feedback? Does he continue improving? Does he still love playing?

Those are much more productive questions.

Learning How to Talk About the Game

We have always talked about Liam’s games. Sometimes that’s in the car immediately afterward, sometimes it’s at home, and sometimes it happens while we’re watching the game back together.

What has changed is how I approach those conversations.

When Liam was younger, there were moments when he’d reach a point where he simply didn’t want to talk about the game anymore. I had to learn from that too.

Now, our conversations are much less about criticizing a play and much more about asking: What can we learn from it? How can we improve?

At 13, Liam understands more about why reviewing his games matters. Things happen quickly on the field, and what a player thinks happened in the moment isn’t always what he sees when he watches it back. Film gives him another opportunity to understand his decisions and his game.

But there’s an important distinction for me as his mom. Reviewing and reflecting doesn’t mean dissecting every mistake.

My job isn’t to be his coach.

Parents Have to Learn When to Step Back

New York Red Bulls Academy does a good job of establishing that boundary. Coaching belongs to the coaches, and parents shouldn’t be coaching from the sideline.

I’ve also had the privilege of interviewing enough professional players and coaches through my work in soccer to hear versions of that message again and again. Kids don’t need a second coach waiting for them after the final whistle. They need support.

I’ve had to learn that lesson in other ways too.

As Liam has grown within the academy, my own work in soccer media has grown at the same time. There was a point when Liam told me he didn’t want me sitting and watching his practices.

I’ll admit that was difficult for me at first. I’m his mom. Of course I want to watch him.

But I eventually understood it from his perspective. Training is his space. He needs to be able to walk onto that field, focus on his coaches and teammates, make mistakes, compete and work without thinking about whether I’m watching every touch from the sideline.

Respecting that has been part of my growth as an academy parent.

His soccer journey belongs to him.

The Mental Side of Development Matters

Elite youth soccer will test confidence. A young player can feel great about his game and then encounter a difficult stretch. Playing time can change, roles can change and feedback can be hard to hear.

It’s easy for a kid to become discouraged, but I’ve also watched those difficult periods build something. With the right support system, adversity can help develop confidence rather than destroy it.

For Liam, mindset has become another part of his development. Working with Greg Garza and Beyond Goals has helped reinforce the idea that growth isn’t only technical or tactical.

How does a player respond when things don’t go his way? Can he take feedback without allowing it to define him? Can he stay confident while still recognizing where he needs to improve? Can he keep working when nobody is promising him a reward?

Those skills matter in soccer. They also matter far beyond it.

 At Some Point, It Has to Become Their Dream

There is a stage in youth sports when parents do almost everything. We sign them up, pack the bags, drive, find trainers and encourage them to practice.

But the older they get — and particularly when they enter a serious development environment — something has to shift.

“The dream has to become the player’s dream.”

That’s one of the things I love most about watching Liam now. I see his drive and determination. I see him doing work that nobody is forcing him to do.

He reviews his games, logs his performances, works on his mindset, trains outside the academy environment and thinks about how he can improve.

His dad and I can support all of that. We can’t manufacture it.

A kid really has to want it.

What Academy Soccer Has Given My Son

It’s easy to talk about the pressure of elite youth soccer, but I wouldn’t want that to overshadow what I’ve watched Liam gain from the experience.

I’ve watched his confidence grow and his mindset mature. I’ve watched him learn how to receive feedback, deal with disappointment and continue working. I’ve watched him become increasingly responsible for his own development.

There have been incredible highs and difficult lows, and I’m sure there will be many more of both. That’s the nature of the journey.

Success at this age isn’t simply being selected for a roster or starting the next match. It’s becoming a better player and a stronger person through the process.

What I’ve Learned as an MLS Academy Parent

I’m still learning. That’s probably the most important thing I can say.

I don’t have a formula for raising an elite soccer player, and I don’t think one exists. Every player develops differently, every family experiences the journey differently and every season can bring something you weren’t expecting.

But there are a few things I understand much more clearly now: making the team isn’t the finish line. Development isn’t linear. More isn’t always the same as better. Parents can’t control every opportunity or decision. And our kids need room to own their journey.

Perhaps most importantly, our job isn’t to eliminate every difficult moment. It’s to give them the support and perspective to move through those moments.

Liam is only 13. I don’t know where soccer will ultimately take him, and that’s okay.

Right now, I get to watch a kid who loves the game learn what it means to work for something he really wants. His dad and I will continue doing everything we can to support him.

The work belongs to Liam, and increasingly, so does the journey.

Continue Your Soccer Journey

If you enjoyed this article, explore more insights inside The Soccer Ladder Library, where I share lessons from professional players, coaches, and my experiences covering soccer around the world.

You can also listen to the latest episodes of The Soccer Ladder podcast for conversations with some of soccer’s biggest names and the stories behind the game.

About Megan Linke

Megan Linke is a soccer media personality, host and founder of The Soccer Ladder. Through interviews with professional players, coaches, and industry leaders, she shares insights on youth player development, international soccer, and the stories shaping the global game.